A Man?

What is it that makes a man a man? Is it his measure of confidence? Is it how much weight he can bench press? Maybe it is how much money he has? Could it be how many women he has slept with? Or even having a girlfriend at all? Does it coincide with how large his genitalia are? Or is it something much more than these? Perhaps a measure of a man can be found by going back to who made man in the first place. God made man in his image and man was made to be in the wild. I have been reading a book called Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. It has really changed my perspective on what men are called to be. Especially for a lot of Christian men, because to be honest it seems many of us are bored and for lack of a better word, womanish. It seems most men in the church have lost their will to fight back, to explore, to be adventurous, to stand for himself and his family, to share without fear of what others think about him. Being a man is about being able to fight for what is right, being able to live on the edge of death, being able to fight for his woman and the beauty that she has to unveil to the world. He is the rock of the family, the provider, the defender, and the adventurer. He is dangerous and that is what makes his strength so scary. That is why our culture has tried to strip men of everything that makes them men. Probably the biggest problem with men is they do not know who they are in God. They get their identity from all the things that cannot fulfill them: women, money, power, prestige, work, or just being nice. You ever met a "nice" guy that looked like he was enjoying life? They are like a neutered dog, they have no spark, no danger, no strength. What I mean by strength is being able to eat their fear for breakfast and face something new everyday with great abandon and excitement. To adventure out from their preconceived comfort zones. As Eldridge describes, the world of todays men are like lions that can be found at a zoo. They are completely lifeless and are caged up. They are stripped of everything that makes them the predator of the plains. They are in effect bored.I hope God can continue to work in me to help me regain my strength in a world that is trying to emasculate me and put me in my place. I want to be wild, to be dangerous, to be someone that can stand for what is right, when everyone else shoots me down or wants to play it safe. That is my prayer.

Solitude

Well this week is Fall Break for Georgia Tech. I go to go help out clearing some land of fallen trees this weekend. It was pretty fun and exciting. I was around a lot of people. Then when I cam back to my dorm, everyone is gone. And my phone actually died recently as well. I tried messaging a couple of my friends, but none of them responded, until finally tonight I found someone to talk to. Being alone is something that I seem to desire a lot because I usually do not get a lot of time to myself. Now that I actually have time to myself I am almost at a loss as to what to do. It is interesting how my mind automatically thinks of things I can do to distract myself. You know, watch a movie, play a video game, facebook, pandora, reading. But today when I finally realized that this was time that I could spend alone with God. It is the perfect opportunity. Here I was finding distractions, when that was all they were;distractions from God. I started praying and playing my guitar, and I just felt a warmth and peace I have not had in a while. Bible reading went great today, and I just feel altogether rejuvenated. I wish I had realized it sooner, that I had a wonderful opportunity before me. I am not sure when I will have this much time to just do whatever I want, but it is a rare occurrence. If only I had my own wilderness I could go to and spend time with God, but for now my room will do.

Friendships

Well it has been a good while since I have written, not that anyone would really care since no has actually read any of my posts, but whatever. I have been back in Georgia for a good three months now, and fairly well into my fall semester of Sophomore year at Georgia Tech. I also have gotten my very own guitar recently, as well as my share of the flu as it seems most people are getting. Some things have not changed too much and that is the dynamics of Friendships. It seems my ability to comprehend why people do certain things slips further and further away as I look at relationships that I see between people. I sometimes don't even know what I am doing half the time either though, so I guess friendships tend to just be interesting phenomena best left to observe and learn from. The Bible definitely provides some good insight into relationships. I always thought it interesting when looking at the relationship of David and Johnathan. David said of Johnathan after he had died that, "Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of a women." Keep in mind he was not saying anything sexual or referencing that friendship is greater than marital love, but here are two men of the Lord that love each other so much that they literally gave their lives for each other. Johnathan's father wanted to kill David, but Johnathan helped him escape on several occasions and even faced his father on several occasions in defense of David. When I look at my life I have to ask myself if I have someone like Johnathan in my life, cuz man they would have to be the one person that I could trust with my life to be my friend even in the worst. For myself I know who my Johnathan would be and honestly I could be content if he was my only friend. I enjoy having lots of friends, but on looking at how many "friends" I have on facebook I can't really think of anyone I talk to more regularly than this person. Having someone you can relate to and share anything with is such a blessing. Even if you had all the friends in the world with no deep fellowship with any of them, I would rather just have one good friend. For some in the Bible though God was the only friend they had. People like Jeremiah or Elijah were shunned by their people. They relied on God for everything. It was because no one around them shared the same fervor for the Lord that they stood singularly at God's side. I think having someone to share that experience of God in my life with is such a blessing and has brought me closer in my relationship with God. Which is the most important relationship of them all.

Seize the Moment

Most people I would assume have heard the saying Carpe Diem, which in other words means Seize the Day. It is an interesting phrase. I hear it a lot, but rarely see it lived out. Today if someone told me to seize the day I probably would not have taken it so well. Basically what I am saying is, is that I am still sick and I had to work. Not the funnest day. Now while I was at work I did get into some conversations with my co-workers. I have been developing a relationship with one of my co-workers. Hopefully as we get closer the Holy Spirit will open his heart to hearing the good news, but for now I am going to be his friend. Someone that he can talk to that won't talk about the latest clubs or sexual escapades of previous nights, but can speak to him like a mature adult. Maybe he can open up to me. As I gain his trust and become a true friend I believe God can use me to do great things at my work as I develop bonds with my co-workers. I hope to invite and bring many of them either to God for the first time or to the right church they were searching for, but never could find. I know for a fact I do not take advantage of every opportunity to make a difference all the time. I do what I can and live each day keeping my values and identity intact. Sometimes that is all one can do, just live to discover who you are. I know my identity is found in God and my purpose is found in my relationship with Him. So I don't know if I am the Carpe Diem type of guy. But instead of just seizing the day, I want to seize every moment for the glory of God. That is my prayer.

Sunday sickness

Well it seems sickness has settled in. I know a lot of people sometimes wonder about sickness, death, and other terrible things that happen to people. Some people blame God, some people blame themselves and some people blame Swine Flu. And while it is easy to just pass around blame in its essence sickness, cancer, mental illness, death; they are all products of sin entering the world. When Adam the first man on earth had sinned God had cursed the planet and the life upon it saying "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat of the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." (Gen. 3:17-19) So that pretty much stunk for us because we are now born into a world full of sin and death. Sin is rebellion towards God, but it was a choice of man, not something that God imposed. The only thing God imposed was a free will. If you asked most people today if free will is a bad thing, hopefully most people would say no. God made us so that we could think about why he allows evil in the world. Of course then you would have to check yourself saying, wait haven't I done my share of evil in the world. Maybe not through any visible actions, but you would have to be pretty self-righteous not to admit that you have had one lustful thought, or hatred towards another, or even thoughts of jealousy for power or prestige. A lot of Christians I know also struggle with the whole idea of how to pray against it. Some just say let your will be done for you know all things and they completely trust in God. That is great and we are supposed to have reverence for God's will. But what if God's will is that you plead with him and ask for miraculous healing. What if God calls us into a relationship with him where we can ask and in confidence in his faithfulness receive like no other child has ever received. God does not call us to blindly follow Him, we need faith that he is real and will fulfill his promises. I know I still need to world on this too, but we can't be afraid to ask of God. If it was not for God's people interceding and bringing requests before God. Israel would have been destroyed long before they would have reached Canaan, Ninevah would have been destroyed if it was not for their humility and penitence, If Daniel had not prayed for Israel's return to Jerusalem maybe they would have never had freedom from their exile until a later time. God is faithful to fulfill his promises and he has sustained me in times when I thought I had screwed up everything. God uses times of strife to move his people into prayer and do great things and fulfill the prophecies of old. "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Rev. 21:3-5) My sickness doesn't seem so bad anymore.

Back in LA

I have spent the last year or so in Georgia going to school at Georgia Tech. I got involved with a lot of great groups and people out there. It has been interesting to finally come back to LA where I have gotten my first job at AMC. Living with my parents again has been a big change from being completely independent, 2500 miles away from my parents. I still have been doing my best to keep myself spiritually disciplined, although as far as sleeping patterns go I have been staying up way too late and sleeping in. Hopefully that will change as the Summer moves along. It has been great seeing all my friends, but sometimes I wonder if I will ever see them again. I actually wasn't even planning to come back here for such a long time. Originally I had planned on getting a Co-op position in Georgia or South Carolina, but those plans fell through no thanks to the economy. I do miss my friends both here in the west and in the east. Thankfully technology allows us to stay connected. About 11 months ago I started talking with an old friend, initially it was just me asking what her plans were for summer and eventually for college. As time went on we became great pen pals until today we are great friends and my two best friends and I went up to visit her and her family with them on a road trip. They live about 5 hours or so away. It was so weird to be around someone that you technically know but at the same time do not know at all. The only way we have ever been there for one another is through prayer and long distance communication whenever times were tough for either of us. Even though I feel like I have known her my entire life, we seem a lifetime apart. It is interesting to think that we were probably the first friends that we ever knew and know we are the newest friend in each other's life. It will be interesting trying to fill in those gaps, but I just don't know what God has planned. Proverbs 3 promises that God will make straight the paths of those who acknowledge God in all their ways and trust in Him. Those have been words to live by when I am surrounded by the challenges and pressures of becoming the best man I can be for my wife, my family, my ministry, my future. I honestly am just taking a step at a time, because to plan any further ahead just seems to be putting my trust in the things of this world which I know to be fallible more times than not. I don;t know what the perfect timing is, or what would have happened had things been different, all I know is what opportunities I have right now. I plan to follow and nothing more, God be my light and refuge and save me from the confusion.